San Diego County Tennis Umpires
The Lighter Side
Experience shows, and science proves, that the best way to deal with the more stressful aspects of working as a sports official is by developing a good sense of humor to go along with that thick skin and a good bridge game. Psychological research in this area supports the theory that officials who thrive in their chosen avocation unwind by finding the lighter side of life in the sport, relieve the tension with a good laugh. Contributions welcome!
How they
see us (in the funny pages) Sports officials as represented in
comic strips
Becoming a tennis umpire Essay
by working official
Ten weidest moments in
tennis history Just when you think you've seen it all...
Clearing up some
misconceptions about officials The US Open and Mac Cam
The ABC's of Tennis Tour
basics from a player "down under"
They said it (really) Some
great quotes from the sport we all love
Umpire jokes You'd think
there would be more...
How they see us (in the funny pages) Sports officials as represented in comic strips
Becoming a tennis umpire Essay by working official
Becoming A Tennis Umpire
by Joan Kotker
English Department
Bellevue Community College, Bellevue, WA
This column first ran in Tennis Server INTERACTIVE newsletter in October 1997, and has now been updated with a new footnote at the end by the author.
I've been umpiring now at various regional USTA tournaments for about four
years, and it's an experience that I recommend to every player--I am convinced
that it will broaden and enrich any player's overall sense of the game and of
what it takes to play it well. I began umpiring because I was not going to be
able to play tennis for a while, and I didn't want to lose touch with the game.
(I'd been offered a book contract, and anyone who has done any professional
writing knows how few and far between such offers are. Given that I have a
full-time job, it meant that I would have to give up playing until I got the
book done--there's only so many hours in a day.) I found out how to get started
by approaching an umpire at the Washington State tournament and asking how to
begin. Simple answer: call the head of Pacific Northwest Umpires and say I
wanted to learn to umpire. At least in my area, there is always a need for good
new umpires (the burnout rate for umpires is high--more on this later) and I was
invited to attend the next scheduled training. Such training consisted of a one
day split between going over rules and then doing practice lines, practice
chairs, etc. This was very good, but also very short; anyone who didn't already
have a good grasp of the game and the rules would have been lost. But then,
maybe anyone without such a grasp wouldn't have been interested in umpiring
anyway....
Next step: on my own, I scored some matches friends of mine were playing at my club, just to get practice doing it with live people in a live match. Then I shadowed a couple of local umpires when they were doing matches (I say "local," but this is misleading: they are from my area but both are widely experienced outside the area, doing Davis Cup, US Open and the like) and just watched what they did and how they handled situations.
And next, I was on my own, first at junior tournaments, then at the whole range of our local tournaments, the highest level of which is Intercollegiate Tennis Association (ITA) (we don't have any challenger circuit matches or other professional events--not a strong tennis town, which paradoxically may have made it easier for me to get into umpiring--there just aren't that many glamorous events to work around the Seattle area).
And as to why I recommend it: what struck me first about umpiring was how extraordinarily difficult it is. It is physically exhausting; most of the time, one stands for hours at a time in the hot sun. The players may sit on the changeover, but the umpire (in this case, what is known as a roving umpire, one who is responsible for a number of courts and moves from one to another, standing at the net post for a full rotation of service games before moving on) stands nearly the whole time. Anyone who's ever worked retail will know exactly what I mean by this; one has no idea how exhausting it is to just stand quietly in one place until one has done it--your legs ache, your back aches, and you have to ignore all of this and stay mentally alert, keeping track of what is going on not only on the court you're on, but on the courts around you that you are also responsible for. This particular combination of mental sharpness and just plain physical endurance carries over into one's own play on the court, and is excellent training for any player. Doing chairs is just as physically difficult, since no umpire's chair that I've ever sat in was ergonomically designed...the mental part is easier though, since you're only focusing on one court.
Another advantage to players that comes from a stint as an umpire is that it forces you to become familiar with the sorts of rules that bring about disputes on the court. You just become so familiar with them that when they come up in your own, unofficiated play, you don't feel threatened by what may or may not be the correct interpretation--you know what it is from experience and this helps to calm things down and keep the game going. (It isn't that you mean to be a know-it-all, but rather that you have had a lot of experience with the rules, and just having this knowledge helps you and your opponent on the court. The point of the game is to play within the rules, and having people who know them helps.) In this context, I think that umpiring also helps a player to say that he or she doesn't know the answer to a particular question and to just be open about that-- there are so many times on the court when an official has to say to a player something like, "I cannot overrule that shot--I could not see it clearly enough" because that's the simple truth--for whatever reason, the umpire didn't see it clearly enouch. As an umpire you learn very quickly that we are all human and we are all just doing the best we can. Then, when something comes up in your own play that neither you nor your opponent is certain of, it becomes second nature for you to say, "I don't know either. Let's play the point over" (or spin a racquet, or whatever). There's no loss of face involved here--it's just a reality of the game that sometimes you don't know, and must just handle things in the fairest way that you can under the circumstances.
Other advantages: you'll never again be thrown by having people on or right near your court, whether they are officials or on-lookers; you'll have been one of those same people so often that you will take it for granted. And you'll never again lose a match because an opponent decides to play mind games with you over the rules; you will have had far too much experience at cooling down people who are taking their frustrations with their own playing out on you, and you'll know how to cool down the situation without taking it personally.
Finally, there is a fine espirit de corps among those who have umpired at any level--when you come off the court, you are physicaly and mentally exhausted and in the midst of a great adrenaline high, and anyone who has done it knows this sense of elation and can share it with you. It's a great feeling.
Disadvantages? Well, the pay is the pits at the local level, it's long, hard, hot hours, some people feel that you're there just so they can abuse you (you'll learn how to handle this quickly though, and knowing how is a good life skill to have off the courts, too), and these are the primary reasons that there is, as I said earlier, high turnover among umpires. And a final disadvantage, at least in my case, is that I now have a hard time keeping score in my own unofficiated matches, since I'm so used to writing it down all the time. What, no written record? My solution is to throw myself on my opponent's mercy, and so far that's worked just fine.
Now that I've finished my book I don't know how long I'll continue umpiring; every hour spent officiating is an hour that could be spent playing. I do know that I have learned a great deal from working as an umpire, and that I'm a more well-rounded player as a result of having done it. And I can think of no better way of staying in the game if, for whatever reason, you cannot participate as a player.
Good luck, and wishing you an infinity of good calls,
Joan Kotker
English Department
Bellevue Community College, Bellevue, WA. 98006
Note added since the original column was written:
I've always been one of those players who have a problem with playing friends in tournament situations. People that I regularly beat in social play are the very same people that I have trouble beating in tournament play. This summer, once again I faced a close friend in the finals of a sanctioned tournament and once again I thought, "Oh God, I have to play her and she's my good friend." And then I thought, "Well, wait a minute, last month I chaired a match in which a very good friend of mine was playing the consolation final in a national tournament and I didn't have any problem with that--when I'm an umpire, that's a different role from when I'm a friend." I extended that concept to "when I'm a competitor, that's a different role from when I'm a friend" and for the first time, I was able to play my best tennis against a person that I knew well and liked very much. I think that maybe this concept--one that says that we all wear different hats depending on the situation, and sometimes we're friends and other times we're players who are competing--might be helpful to many club players who find themselves drawing close friends in matches. Hope that this is helpful.... -- JK
Ten weirdest moments in tennis history Just when you think you've seen it all...
10 weirdest moments in tennis history
Jon Henderson, Sunday June 9, 2002, Guardian Unlimited
1. MIXED SINGLES
New York 1960-1977
When Renee Richards stepped on to court to play Virginia Wade at the 1977 US
Open she was making her debut in the women's singles - 17 years after she, or
rather he, had made his debut in the men's singles. In 1975, Richards had a
sex-change operation and the Richard H. Raskind who competed at the 1960 US Open
became Renee Richards, who, after a ruling by the New York State Superior Court,
took part in the same tournament - but different singles - in 1977. One thing
remained unaltered though - the American transsexual's tennis playing ability.
Raskind lost his first-round match in straight sets, and so did Richards.
2. WIFE WHO SLAPPED THE UMPIRE
Wimbledon 1995
Jeff Tarango was known to flip more easily than a Zippo lighter, but he really
excelled himself on this occasion - and so did his wife, Benedicte. The
Californian was playing Alexander Mronz and was upset when a serve he thought
was an ace was called out. When the crowd barracked him and he told them to shut
up, the umpire, Bruno Rebeuh, issued a code violation, which really got Tarango
going. He raged at Rebeuh and then stormed off, defaulting the match, after
announcing: 'You are the most corrupt official. I'm not playing any more.' As
Rebeuh made his way back to the changing room, he encountered Benedicte, who
slapped him. Later she defended her action and said: 'If Jeff had done it, he
would have been put out of tennis.'
3. WHEN ARMSTRONG STEPPED ON MCENROE
Melbourne 1990
Forget all the other John McEnroe outbursts - 'You cannot be serious' and the
rest - this one topped the lot. It was the Australian Open and an agitated
McEnroe was playing the Swede Mikael Pernfors. He collected an early warning for
intimidating a lineswoman and was docked a point for smashing a racket. He
thought he had one life left - the deduction of a game - but had miscalculated.
He'd probably have been chucked out anyway for his next offence, an instruction
to the tournament supervisor Ken Farrar to, 'Just go fuck your mother.' Within
moments, Gerry Armstrong, the British umpire, was announcing: 'Verbal abuse,
audible obscenity, Mr McEnroe. Default. Game, set and match, Pernfors.' And
McEnroe's response? 'I can't say I'm surprised. It was bound to happen.'
4. GROUNDSMAN'S BAD MARKS
Amelia Island, Florida 2002
'I flip-flopped the distances. It's supposed to be 21 feet from the net to the
service line and then 18 feet to the baseline. I made it 18 and 21,' said an
embarrassed groundsman at the Amelia Island Plantation. But Bert Evatt, who had
been doing the job for 22 years, wasn't the only one who was embarrassed. Anne
Kremer and Jennifer Hopkins, who played a first-round match in the prestigious
Bausch & Lomb Championships on the wrongly measured Stadium Court, served a
shaming 29 double faults. They complained to officials who discovered the
mistake.
5. AN ADMIRER WHO BECAME A HUSBAND
Cannes 1926
The Riviera - and tennis - had known nothing like it. Hundreds queued all night
and the Train Bleu from Paris was packed with fans eager to watch French diva
Suzanne Lenglen play the coming force, American Helen Wills. In a tense finish,
Lenglen thought she had won but the English linesman Lord Hope said he had not
called Wills's shot 'Out'. Lenglen won three games later and was swept from the
court by her fans. Wills, standing alone in the centre of the court, was joined
by an admirer. 'You played awfully well,' said Frederick Moody. Three years
later she became Helen Wills-Moody, the name under which she achieved her great
fame.
6. QUEER GOINGS-ON IN SW19
Wimbledon 1921
'I have known several connoisseurs who were present,' wrote tennis historian Ted
Tinling, 'and all accepted the fact that a psychological, probably homosexual,
relationship affected the result.' The result in question was American Bill
Tilden's 4-6 1-6 6-1 6-0 7-5 title-match win over Brian 'Babe' Norton of South
Africa. It has been suggested that Norton could never bring himself to beat his
mentor and threw the second and third sets. In the fifth, Norton had two match
points and on the first, Tilden, mistakenly thinking he had hit the ball out,
ran to the net to congratulate Babe. He had even switched the racket to his left
hand. Norton had an easy pass to win the title but missed.
7. THE LINESMAN WHO TURNED MASSEUR
Bucharest 1972
According to Arthur Ashe, the 1972 Davis Cup final between Romania and the US
was marked by 'cheating by local officials [that] reached an abysmal low'. The
most notorious of the five matches was the one in which Stan Smith clinched
victory by beating Ion Tiriac in five sets. Smith ran up an unusually high
number of foot faults - called by judges wanting to negate his aces, said Ashe -
and Tiriac reportedly orchestrated crowd noises to disturb Smith's game. But
what really incensed the Americans was the moment when a supposedly impartial
linesman openly massaged Tiriac's cramping leg and, unavailingly, urged him on
to victory.
8. TOO SEXY FOR THE ALL ENGLAND CLUB
Wimbledon 1985
She was White by name and, as laid down by Wimbledon convention, she was clad
all in white, so what on earth did Wimbledon have to complain about? 'Not
traditional tennis attire,' was the official line as the tournament asked the
Californian Anne White to step out of her dazzling, skin-tight body stocking
into something a little more demure. Her outfit had caused a stampede by
photographers when she appeared in it on a miserable, wet evening to play Pam
Shriver. Play was suspended by the weather at one-set all and when they
reappeared the next day White was more orthodoxly dressed. She lost the match,
though. 'I think I showed a lot of guts,' she said.
9. BILLIE JEAN AND THE PIGLET
Houston 1973
Billie Jean King reacted angrily to the defeat inflicted on her 30-year-old
rival Margaret Court by Bobby Riggs, an American showman who had won Wimbledon
but was now 55. King saw it as stain on the women's game and resolved to take
revenge on Riggs. The Battle of the Sexes at the Houston Astrodome caught the
public's imagination. A crowd of 30,472 packed the arena and 48 million watched
on TV in America. King was carried to court-side on a litter and presented Riggs
with a live piglet as a 'tribute' to his male chauvinism; Riggs arrived in a
rickshaw pulled by six nymphets. King won 6-4 6-3 6-3.
10. ANYONE FOR ICE CREAM?
Rome 1963
It could only have happened in Rome where they don't take their tennis nearly as
seriously as they do at Wimbledon. Tony Pickard, the British Davis Cup player,
was playing the New Zealander Ian Crookenden in the Italian championships and
not only the crowd, but the line judges were losing interest. Pickard takes up
the story: 'It was a vital game point. He served and it was at least nine inches
long. The umpire looked to the baseline judge for the call, but he was turned
round buying an ice cream over the fence.' Crookenden won the point and went on
to win the match. 'I felt as sick as a pig,' says Pickard.
Bron: Gardian Unlimited.
Clearing up some misconceptions about officials The US Open and Mac Cam
NewStandard: 9/4/99
Clearing up misconceptions about officials
I've been called "stiff" by one man and told by a lovely woman with a pretty
French accent "You are no good. Go home!" And I've been sworn at in public in
about 17 languages. I can talk about it now because I've retired after nine
years of tennis officiating. I've taken my seat in the dunk tank for the final
time. American sports fans are going to have to pick on somebody else for a
change. It's with a little jealousy and a lot of sympathy that I watch my
officiating brethren these two weeks during the U.S. Open, to which I turned
down my invitation this year after working the lines there since 1993. This is
the final grand slam tournament of the year and the last chance for American
tennis fans to let the umpires know just how bad they think they really are. And
thanks to the MacCam, fans and players alike think they've got the line judges
right where they want them.
But the officials, you might be surprised, actually welcome the MacCam into
their workplace. They see the MacCam as their one and only chance at
vindication. Named after the all-time greatest tennis brat, John McEnroe, CBS's
MacCam employs a technology using many more frames per second to provide an
instant replay far superior to any other in television. The camera sits on the
baseline of the National Tennis Center's stadium courts about six inches above
the ground and focuses its lens on those oh-so-close ones that inspire most of
the arguments the fans can overhear between the players and the chair umpire.
USA Network covers the U.S. Open better than CBS, but no network covers any
event as well when it comes to instant replay. The MacCam can slow a ball down
so it still looks like a ball when it's bouncing, not the jet stream you usually
see. It's a lonely job, being the only person among 20,000 who is sitting in a
position advantageous enough to correctly view the landing of a tennis ball. But
rather than grovel and whine at the bratty players and assuming fans (i.e. the
player argued, therefore the umpire is wrong), I have decided to educate those
who would like to take a line judging for dummies (sort of) course.
First I'd like to dismiss a few popular misconceptions about tennis officials:
1. The line judges are legally blind.
Actually, they must submit a registered optometrist-signed form stating he or
she has 20-20 vision, with or without glasses.
2. The line judges don't know what they're doing out there.
Actually, every official tests annually on the rules of tennis, of which there
are 40, not counting special cases. Officials are certified according to their
activity, experience and performance rating. Most line judges preside over
college matches and/or USTA tournaments as "roving" officials.
3. The line judges favor the hometown player.
Actually, some American officials can't stand Andre Agassi, but the
concentration it takes to perform with any consistency renders it impossible to
contemplate the result of a call once one begins determining whether the ball
landed in or out.
It's also important to know who's doing what. Notice when you watch
the Open that there are two judges standing against the back wall. Their job is
to call the sidelines on their side of the net. When the player on the near end
is serving, the judge in the middle calls the center service line, then runs to
cover the sideline. Judges are also seated on each baseline and on the service
line.
Here's how they make the call: Line judges don't stare at their line the
whole time, they watch the match just like the fans until it's time to make a
call. Line judges don't follow the ball through the air. Once they know they
have a close one coming, they focus onto the line so they can remain still and
see the landing of the ball, not its takeoff point. The fans, the players and
the chair umpire all see a streak until the ball jumps off the court. Only the
line judge, whose eyes are still, sees it land.
Especially on close baseline calls, it's important to remember that tennis balls
crush when they land, then skid or, if hit with topspin, roll up to their full
diameter before rebounding off the court. A player running frantically after a
ball has the most disciplined eyework but the worst of circumstances for seeing
the ball touch down. For the player, the ball is but a yellow streak until it
changes direction and jumps up off the court. That's why the call most argued is
the ball that lands near the back of the baseline and looks like it landed just
outside the line to everyone except the line judge.
Notice I didn't include among my list of misconceptions "line judges make
mistakes." I've made my share. Sometimes the line judge makes an
awful mistake that only one other official on the court will notice. Neither the
players nor the fans knew. Usually a lapse in concentration is what causes the
error, and if he or she immediately realizes it, the judge corrects the call.
Sometimes, the chair umpire disagrees and overrules.
In my opinion, chair umpires overrule too much, some to prove to players
lacking confidence in the officiating that someone is taking charge for them,
and some because they lack confidence in the line judges themselves.
Like I said, it's a lonely position on the lines, and it's no wonder a line
judge can consider the MacCam a friend.
To learn more about tennis officiating or to inquire about becoming a tennis
official, send an email to: emcee915@aol.com .
Mick Colageo is a correspondent for The Standard-Times.
The ABC's of Tennis
Tennis basics!
The ABC of Tennis
A
Advantage - What members of the royal family have in getting tickets to
Wimbledon
Ambidextrous - Renee Richards
Amateur - A player who is identifiable by his repeated assertions that he
receives no financial assistance from any source whatsoever. Virtually extinct.
Australia - Sixty and more years ago players would travel months by ship to go
there to play a few sets in the Davis Cup. This cultural nirvana is now
considered too far away even for Australian players, most of whom live in the
US.
B
Backhand - Invented by K. Rosewall in the middle of the 19th century.
Original still in use.
Ballboys - Groups of small children paid by players to distract opponents.
Beer - Basis of the Australian junior training programme.
Baseline - Two inch wide mark at the rear of the court. Said to contain hypnotic
qualities giving double vision to players and umpires.
C
Choke - Colloquial (slang) term for state of extreme nervousness. To tighten
up in the game, to lose rhythm. Can lead to the player losing his advantage, and
usually the match. This phenomenon has been known to affect linesman who make
adverse calls, and umpires who confirm them.
Crowd - Thousands of ordinary people paying dearly to sit close together and
move their heads from side to side in unison during a match.
D
Dink - Taken between games by children to restore fluid balance.
Deuce - The French contribution to Lawn Tennis
E
Excuses - Haven't played for weeks. Sore arm. Hangover. Bad light. Bad
Balls. Too hot. Too cold. The best excuses should precede the game. Any
utterance after a loss is considered an excuse.
F
Finger - Found in a group along the arm. Sometimes given to linesman or
umpires.
Flushing Meadow - Part of La Guardia Airport, New York. Used once a year for the
U.S. Open
Frame - Racquet excluding strung area. Often used by novice players to strike
the ball
G
Gamesmanship - Little known until the recent past. Became an art form
through the dedication and creative energies of a Romanian duo in the '60s.
Until then limited to stoppage of play to tighten up a shoelace or accidentally
spilling a glass of Robertson's Barley Water on an opponent's racquet during
change of ends. Can be profitable.
H
Hacker - term for a low quality player. Used extensively by ex Australian
player, and now commentator, who has said 'losing to a hacker hacks me off!'.
When he is not playing or commentating tennis, Stolle is studying to become a
literary giant.
I
In - Judgement passed when the ball is on the line.
J
Just out - An opponent's call meaning just in.
K
"Knock-up" (English) (Aust) - Warm up period before a match commences when
players either attempt to intimidate each other by an awesome display of shots
or each disguises his actual talent by bumbling returns either out of play or
into net. (U.S.A.) Has a totally different meaning.
L
Linesman - A deaf and blind person who sits in a chair on the court to mark
the position of various lines.
M
Margaret Court- Australia's greatest-ever woman's player. Became so famous
that the playing surface was named after her.
N
Net - The amount left after a player has paid his expenses.
O
Out - Judgement passed by opponent when the ball is on the line.
P
Passing Shot - Nasty comment made as opponents change ends.
Poacher - Player who encroaches onto partner's side of net intent on keeping all
the game to himself. Some players poach without licence or approval. If the game
ends in defeat a poacher is immersed in boiling water for 2-3 minutes.
Q
Queue - Line of spectators seeking entry to tournament; "Far Queue", a term
sometimes directed at tournament officials who decline to reverse bad line
calls.
R
Robbed - Another term for having lost a match.
S
Slice - Percentage taken by managers.
T
Tank - Place where officials look for players who should have won easily but
instead lose convincingly. Use of this term not approved by the A.T.P.
U
Umpire - Official who keeps score during a match. Duties include provoking
players by confirming bad linecalls.
W
Wives - Sometimes travel on the circuit so their husbands won't be bored
playing matches, practicing, drinking with friends, sightseeing, being lavishly
entertained by wealthy divorcees or groped by hordes of enthusiastic young and
beautiful women.
Winner - A shot which beats an opponent. A player who hits sufficient winners
usually is one. Consistent winners can be recognised by massive muscular
development of the forearm hand from habitually collecting prize money.
X
XXXX Beer. The secret of Pat Rafter's success.
Y
Yefgeny Kefelnikov - Popular player in Australia due to his wit and charm
and rapport with the Aussies.
Z
Zvereva, Natasha - Famous for getting so excited over a great shot that she
spontaneously showed her colourful tennis bra to the crowd at the 1995
Australian Open.
modified from The World's Best Tennis Book Ever
They said it (really)
Some great quotes from the sport we all love
Quotes
"Women's tennis is two sets of rubbish that lasts only half an hour."
- Pat Cash, in 1987, the year he won Wimbledon.
"I started when I was 4, but I didn't play seriously until I was 8."
- Kathy Rinaldi, a 14-year-old tennis whiz kid, after reaching the 1981 French
Open quarterfinals.
"I don't know that I changed all that much. They just found somebody worse."
- Aging tennis bad boy Jimmy Connors, referring to John McEnroe, in 1984.
"If you're paid before you walk on the court, what's the point in playing as if
your life depended on it? Hell, if you've locked up a bundle of money from a
challenge match, you might as well take a vacation the rest of the year. "
- Arthur Ashe, opposing the so-called "Heavyweight Championships of Tennis,"
when it was disclosed that players would receive prearranged payments regardless
of who won or lost.
"The incredible thing about playing her is if I hit a winner I will hear 'Good
shot!' I keep saying to myself, 'Is this girl real?' She is."
- Chris Evert, on playing Evonne Goolagong Cawley.
"Equality? They ought to play the women's final on opening day. Everybody knows
who's going to be in it."
- Jimmy Connors, at the 1976 U.S. Open, on the issue of equal prize money for
women.
"Her tennis isn't going to straighten out until she straightens out her life."
- Chris Evert Lloyd, on Martina Navratilova, in 1982.
"There is a terrific apprehension among some people that blacks will take over
the sport... It will create problems because their behavior, speech and dress is
just a completely different culture."
- Tennis great Arthur Ashe, in 1988.
"What? Don't tell me that! That's the biggest crock of dump! Being the U.S. Open
champion is what I've lived for. If these guys are relieved at losing, something
is wrong with the game - and with them."
- Thunderstruck Jimmy Connors, told that Pete Sampras, after failing to defend
his 1991 U.S. Open title, had expressed relief that the "bag of bricks" had just
been lifted from his shoulders.
"You are the absolute pits of the world!"
- John McEnroe, in his most famous insult, ranting at umpire Edward James during
the 1981 Wimbledon Championships.
"I wonder if she knows what's going on yet. That's great. She's winning. Wait'll
she learns how to choke."
- Veteran champion Billie Jean King's put-down of 14-year-old Tracy Austin,
after Austin upset fourth-seeded Sue Barker in the 1977 U.S. Open.
"You cannot be serious!"
- John McEnroe's infamous ranting to a Wimbledon umpire.
"Manners are manners. Jimmy Connors and Ilie Nastase have no respect. I don't
want my kid seeing Nastase play. The demeanor you show on the court is important
to tennis.... Maybe we (yesterday's stars) were too stereotyped. But we were
told to behave or they'd take our racket away."
- Rod Laver, in 1980.
"I didn't aspire to be a good sport; 'champion' was good enough for me."
- England's fiercely competitive Fred Perry, the son of a working class Member
of Parliament, who won three straight Wimbledons (1934-36) and was renowned for
gamesmanship.
"I didn't start a war. Nobody died."
- Boris Becker, putting his shocking 1987 Wimbledon upset loss to unheralded
Australian Peter Doohan into perspective.
"I am the best tennis player who cannot play tennis."
- Ion Tiriac, the ungainly but shrewd Romanian who, with Ilie Nastase, carried
his country to the Davis Cup final in 1969, 1971 and 1972.
"I learned that it will be fun if it's all like this."
- Naive 13-year-old tennis phenomenom Jennifer Capriati, after reaching the
final in her first pro tournament, in 1990. Capriati would later be arrested for
drug possession and become one of tennis' most famous burnout victims.
"I want to reach absolute perfection. And I think I can reach it." -
All-time tennis great Steffi Graf, who went on to win 22 Grand Slam singles
titles, in 1991.
"I want to be remembered as a great player, but I guess it will be as a player
who got angry on a tennis court."
- The lament of over-the-hill John McEnroe.
"It became 24 hours a day. When I slept, I suspected a secret camera under the
sheet. The more I worked to live up to my nationalistic obligations, the more
harassed I became. It's tough to handle at age 23, but much harder at 17 and
18."
- Boris Becker, on being a German icon, in 1991.
"I may have exaggerated a bit when I said that 80 percent of the top 100 women
are fat pigs. What I meant to say was 75 percent of the top 100 women are fat
pigs."
- Richard Krajicek later apologized for these gauche 1992 remarks and won
Wimbledon in 1996.
"My accomplishments do not live up to my tennis game. Most people have to work
really hard and win some big matches, and then they get money and popularity.
For me it has been the reverse of everybody else. The exact opposite."
- Under-achiever Andre Agassi, in May 1992, two months before he won his first
Grand Slam title at Wimbledon.
"If [Harry] Hopman told his squad to go jump a fence, they wouldn't think twice.
If I ask a player to go practice his serve for half an hour, he will probably
want to know why."
- Australian Davis Cup captain Neale Fraser, in 1992.
"My femininity is always something I've tried to preserve in this dog-eat-dog
world."
- Margaret Smith Court, the tall and powerful Australian tennis great.
"My goal one day is to be in the same sentence as Rod Laver and Ken Rosewall. If
I can match them for 10 years, I'd be in their company. They were class acts.
That's what I'd like to be."
- Pete Sampras, after winning the 1993 U.S. Open for his third Grand Slam title.
"What is it that Americans see in Agassi? I think he's short, hairy, balding and
stupid."
- Louise Evans, of the Australian Associated Press, not enamored of Andre Agassi
during all the Agassi mania at Wimbledon in 1993.
"It's not easy for me to live with, knowing that I'm Number 1 because she was
attacked."
- Steffi Graf, in 1994, referring to her former archrival, Monica Seles, who was
stabbed a year earlier and was still off the pro tour.
"His day is done, and now we're doing it. And we're doing it pretty well and not
with fingers in the air and our hands on our crotches."
- Jim Courier, in 1994, firing back after Jimmy Connors criticized the leading
players for being boring and unentertaining.
"There's too much money and too many nice guys around."
- John McEnroe, on what's wrong with men's tennis, in 1994
"She might be No. 1 in two years, but will she last five years?"
- Martina Navratilova, critical of phenom Martina Hingis' fall 1994 pro debut at
14, and concerned she may burn out prematurely.
"This is something you'd die for. The intensity of playing against Pete is
something above and beyond anything I feel against anybody else, and beyond the
rivalry there's that hunt for No. 1."
- Andre Agassi, fired up about his rivalry with Pete Sampras in 1995.
"When you become a top player, you think that nothing else and nobody else
matters. You can tell everybody on earth, 'Listen, I'm playing tennis, I don't
have time for you. I'm in the semifinals of the U.S. Open, screw everybody and
everything else.' "
- Former world No. 1 Mats Wilander, in 1995.
"I used to go into pubs and people would want to pick a fight with me. I would
hear a group of girls say: 'Oh look, there's Pat Cash.' And then one of them
would come up to me and say, 'You think you're so good,' and throw a drink in my
face. That kind of reaction from people was a bit of a shock initially, and you
don't ever really get used to it."
- Pat Cash, in 1996.
"The thing is, I've never really cared much about the tour. I play, do press,
then I'm out of there."
- Steffi Graf, unapologetic about her total lack of involvement in promoting the
women's tour, in 1996.
"Women should never be allowed on centre court."
- Jack Kramer, after his match was delayed by a long women's singles match
"Big money encourages tanking. In my opinion, tanking is going on even with a
lot of the top guys today - it's quite evident."
- Jimmy Connors, in 1997.
Umpire jokes You'd think there would be more...
Arguing with an official is like wrestling with a pig in the mud: give up now because sooner or later you realize that the pig actually likes it!